


how do you make a home?

by lunaticlua



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Parent(s), Physical Abuse, Pogues being Pogues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recreational Drug Use, Underage Drinking, WARNINGS!, extremely self-indulgent content, it's pretty much canon but with a twist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunaticlua/pseuds/lunaticlua
Summary: “you were never gonna leave that town [...] where the pain of the world was swallowed when the sunset wiped you clean” (futon couch – missy higgins)seven years after the events of her parents’ death, lulu moves back home. when she starts working at her uncle’s mechanic shop, she meets jj maybank. with him by her side, she learns how to be open again to what life brings under the golden sky of outer banks.[ jj maybank x female original character ]
Relationships: JJ (Outer Banks)/Original Female Character(s), JJ (Outer Banks)/Reader, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sarah Cameron & JJ & Kiara & Pope & John B. Routledge
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	1. sun, sun, sun, here we come

**Author's Note:**

> hello! am i late to the outer banks bandwagon? i hope not hahahah
> 
> so, i need to be honest and say this is, as stated in the tags, an extremely self-indulgent content. i am needy right now and i had a dream in which i was dating jj maybank. therefore, i decided to write a fanfic about it. however, i do need to warn you that lulu jones, my oc, is not based on me. even though, we do share a name (luiza or lulu).  
> i hope you all like it :)
> 
> trigger warnings: in this story, jj, as well as in the tv show, is abused physically ad morally by his father. also, lulu was present on the death of her parents, which was a violent event that tramatized her. because of it, we will deal with ptsd in this fic. i will make my best to present it as accurate as possible, because i am aware that it is a difficult and delicate topic.  
> please, make your mental health your priority and don't read this if it makes you feel bad.
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- the title of the story is from "apple pie" by lizzy mcalpine  
> \- the title of the chapter is from "here comes the sun"  
> \- i wrote this chapter listening to "futon couch" by missy higgins, "ice cream sundae" by inhaler and the jacob collier and dodie version of "here comes the sun"

_“little darling, it feels like years since it’s been here / here comes the sun”_ (here comes the sun – the beatles)

She missed the crystal-clear blue ocean where she learnt how to not only swim but become one with the water. The salty air that invaded her childhood bedroom each morning as she opened the windows. The delicate shells she collected and gifted to her mother. The end-of-the-day sky that brought a golden tint to their lives. She missed being at home — not the house she grew up in, but the town she’d always belonged to even miles away. She missed feeling at home.

Living in a small town in Ohio with her mom’s sister definitely wasn’t the worst fate after that night seven years ago. Leaving was a hard but necessary decision and she is grateful that someone made it. Auntie Rita gave her what she needed the most at the time: a family to lean on, a direct link to her mother and, most importantly, a space to grieve.

But the situation changed. According to Betty, the therapist she was appointed to attend after the events of my parents’ death, facing her trauma was a good step forward in order to let the pain go. Thereby, Rita decided to give away her legal guardian’s rights to Uncle Joe and allow her to come back.

As they enter on the road that leads them to the Cut, on the passenger seat of her aunt’s car with all her belongings, she asks whoever is out there that moving back was not a mistake.  _ The Outer Banks, paradise on Earth _ , she reads on the sign. It felt like it when she was a kid and things were still easy. But she is older now and the veil of naivety is not there anymore. Still, despite all the pain surrounding the island, OBX was the closest thing to her personal heaven.

When they pull over at the yellow faded house, she sees the big, tall man who is taking her in. Joe Campbell was her mother’s best friend growing up and Outer Banks’s most well-known mechanic. When she was born, her mom chose him to be her godfather. He was the one who gifted her first surfboard when she learned how to walk and the one who taught her how to change a motorcycle motor when she was seven. After what happened, he even volunteered to raise her.

As soon as she leaves the car, he embraces her tightly, which would normally make her flinch. Not with him, though. Uncle Joe had a hug that reminded her of better times. “Welcome back, my girl. You are so tall, just like your mother,” he breathes in her hair. After what feels like an eternity later, she lets him go and gives him a faint smile, watching his glistening eyes. Sometimes, she forgets that other people lost Cecilia as well. 

“Thank you again, Uncle Joe.”

“Don’t mention it, kid. You are family and family look out for each other,” he finishes, squeezing her shoulder once. “Now, I will see if your aunt needs help with your stuff and you head inside to check out your new room. Second door to your right.”

“Are you sure you two don’t need me?”

“Yeah, Lulu. Go, go! There is a surprise for you there,” he sends one of his genuine, warming smiles and then turns to speak with Rita.

Opening the front door feels like time travelling. Suddenly, she is back at the time when she would come there on the weekends for barbecue with her parents and their friends. Everything seems to be where she remembers. The house stayed as it used to be as if the time hadn’t passed, they hadn’t died, she hadn’t been broken. It comforts her.

As she walks on the hallway leading to her room, she sees pictures with her mother, with herself — none of them have him, fortunately. The big green eyes stare at her in a photo of her mom singing with her high school band. Sometimes, she thinks that she forgot her voice. It freaks her out, losing this big part of her favorite person. She is forever grateful for the home video she found of her mother singing to her as a baby. She leaves behind the memories and moves on to her bedroom door. 

When she enters the space, she notices the surfboard on the bed. It looks just like the one she had growing up, except that it is bigger. A wave of happiness invades her as she inspects it. It is beautiful and she can’t contain the excitement to test it out. 

“Did you like it?” Uncle Joe asks from the doorframe with a box on his hands.

“Like it? I loved it. It is perfect. I can’t thank you enough!”

“Taking this box is enough, kid.”

After hours of moving boxes and organizing her clothes, she gives herself a break and goes to meet the adults who are making dinner. Auntie Rita is going to stay for the night and head back to Ohio the next day. When she is arriving at the kitchen, she hears her name and decides to hide in order to listen to what they are saying.

“… Lulu thinks that she is ready to be back, but we need to be careful,” she listens to her aunt’s whispers.

“I know that, Rita, but the girl gotta live. She is sixteen. She knows what it is best for her. We have to trust her.”

“I do trust her. But, Joe, you weren’t there. You didn’t see her in the past seven years.”

“But, Rita–”

“She didn’t talk to me for almost three years! Three years,” she can feel the pain in the words, which guilts her profusely. It is easier to not think about the first few years and the torment she put her aunt through. “You understand what this is? She doesn’t have friends back in Ohio. The only people she can keep a conversation with are me, her therapist, two teachers from her school and you. No one else.”

“Rita, that is why she is here. She can’t run away from this anymore. This place is her home. She just needs to realize this again.”

“I am scared for her,” she murmurs morosely.

“I know you are. I am too, but we need to let her live. Look, we have a plan, right? She works with me at the shop. We have dinner together at least twice a week. She will be fine. It will be good for her, I am sure,” he takes a deep, long breath. “But, if we think that it wasn’t a good idea, in the summer, she goes back to you. It’s the deal.”

“I just hope you are right, Joe. I really do.”

When she realizes that they had stopped talking, she emerges from the hallway where she was hidden with a need to get out of the house for a while. “Hi. I was wondering if I had time to go for a swim at the beach before dinner.”

They share a knowing look and Uncle Joe answers. “Yes, kid, of course. Just be back in an hour. Will you take your bike?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Be safe.”

She goes back to the bedroom for a quick change of clothes and leaves the house. When she is on her old blue bicycle, she feels like she can breathe again. She rides for less than ten minutes until she arrives at part of the beach where she used to go with her mom. 

All her favorite memories on this island have the woman.

They used to wake up earlier every Saturday and come to this place. They would swim, collect shells, and then eat the ice cream sundae from the little beach kiosk secretly. Paul never liked that mom gave her dessert before lunch. He always said she spoiled the girl too much. So, this was one of their many little secrets. 

She shakes away the bittersweet thought, places her bike at the sand and takes off her shoes, short and t-shirt. When her toes touch the translucid water, she enjoys the lightheartedness in her soul. The deeper she goes, the more weightless she feels.

As she dives in, all her sorrows wash away. The blue immensity gifts her the power to just be for a second or two. When she gets back to the surface, she makes herself a promise to do everything to maintain this peace of mind. She vows to let it all go.

_“i’m in the pursuit of happiness. [...] i gonna get it, easy as an ice cream sundae.”_ (ice cream sundae – inhaler)


	2. yes, i would give my heart gladly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! here i am back with another chapter. in these one, we see the first interaction between jj and lulu!!  
> i hope you are liking to read it just as much as i am liking to write it :)
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- the title of the chapter is from "girl from ipanema" by the one and only tom jobim. one of my favorite versions of it is the one by astrid gilberto and stan gertz. i super recommend checking it out, as well as the original "garota de ipanema".  
> \- i wrote this chapter listening to a lot of bossa nova and mpb.

_“yeah, you took me by surprise while i was getting lost so deep inside your diamond eyes”_ (love you for a long time – maggie rogers)

The mission for the Pogues this summer is to have a good time, all the time. At least, when they aren’t working.

“Wake up, JJ!” Kiara practically screams at his ear. He was happily sleeping at the sofa pull-out at The Château’s living room. The night prior they went to a kegger party at the Boneyard and crashed at John B’s place as per usual.

“Fuck off,” he mumbled, putting the pillow over his head to muffle the sound. 

“I’m serious, idiot. We are going without you. So, don’t come back crying to us later.”

He sighs and starts getting up from the bed. “Man, you are annoying.”

Sundays are mandatory surfing days. Even though he loves to go with his friends, he absolutely despises being awakened at six o’clock for it. He heads to the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking the milk box. He downs the rest of it and then looks around. John B is already outside loading the van with their surfboards and Pope is nowhere to be seen, while Kiara is in the bathroom.

Less than half an hour later, they are all at a part of the beach on the south side of the island where they normally hang out at. Kooks never come here, which it is always a plus in JJ’s opinion.

To them, surfing is more than simply floating on the crest of a wave toward the shore. It is the closest thing to walking on water. It is a sacrilegious, liberating, and scary experience. It is an art and the Pogues excel at it. They become one with the waves.

Eventually, they settle for only floating on their boards, just feeling the sun and the salt on their skins. The peacefulness of the moment is cracked by the appearance of someone else on the seaside. A girl who they don’t recognize leaves her beach bag by a palm tree with her shorts and walks towards the sea with her board. 

The four teenagers watch as she paddles in direction of the approaching swells, taking note of her technique and her body. After she successfully catches a big wave, Pope expresses his fascination. “Wow, she’s good.”

“She is hot,” JJ adds with a shameless smirk.

“Do you think she is a Kook?” Pope asks back.

“Definitely not a Touron,” John B chips into the discussion.

“Can’t you stop staring? It’s creepy,” Kiara complains.

“Jealous much, Kie?”

“Stop being ridiculous, JJ.”

As if she is hearing their whispers about her, the brunette looks back at them and drifts away to the opposite side of the beach until they lose her sight. The next hours are spent on the ocean until they get bored of it and go back to The Château. 

Monday morning, the Maybank boy can be found at Campbell’s Auto Repair Shop. He’d started working there half period during the school year. Being a mechanic is a family thing and JJ learnt the ropes of it quickly. 

As soon as he arrives at the place, he is called by his boss. “JJ, come here!”

“Any problem, Mr. Campbell?” The man helped him a lot when his father had lost his job again after appearing drunk for work at the junkyard. Because of it, the boy always tries to not disappoint him, which is an easy task. After all, Joe Campbell was a chill employer and an altogether nice guy.

“No problem, boy. The thing is my goddaughter is staying with me this summer and she will start working here. So, for God's sake, Maybank, behave. She is a quiet girl. Just don’t bother her, alright?” In his mind, JJ was trying to remember if the man had spoken about a goddaughter before without success. 

“You called it, boss.”

“Now, I need to tow a car in Figure 8. She will be dropping by soon.”

“I’ll make her feel welcome.”

“Don’t make me regret it.”

“Never!” He grins, getting back to the car that he was working on Friday. 

An hour later, JJ listens to the front door opening and turns himself to look at who has arrived and there she is. The surfing girl with medium-length, brown hair. Its soft curls and waves frame her rosy face. He is taken aback by her beauty, while she merely watches him with her forest green eyes, waiting for him to say something. 

“Hi. You must be Old Campbell’s goddaughter, right?” He questions when he is taken back to reality, to which she only nods and continues to stare at him.

“Quiet, huh? I’m JJ,” he waits in vain for her answer to an unspoken question about her name. “Well, Joe didn’t tell me what you are going to do exactly but make yourself at home.”

When she heads toward the other car waiting for repair, JJ gives her a puzzled face. She ignores him, and he decides to voice his doubt. “Have you ever fixed a car?”

The teenage girl looks at him blankly and then rolls her eyes. She puts her earphones as a sign for him to stop talking. JJ continues to examine her movements and, after some minutes, realizes that she does know what she is doing. He returns his attention to the car in front of him and sighs. “This is going to be hard.”

After three days of silence and inexpressive stares from her and countless attempts to make her talk on his part, he hears Lulu’s voice for the first time. The day after her arrival, he inquired Joe about her. The man only shared her name and the fact that she can indeed speak, but she doesn’t do it very often. 

“Fuck,” she swears after searching her backpack for two minutes. 

“She speaks,” he smirks, inciting a glare from her and what he wants to believe is an almost smile. “What prompted this curious event?”

She rolls her eyes, which causes him to beam at her. JJ is warming up to her easily, even though she ignores the majority of the time. She is an alluring enigma that he is determined to understand.

“I forgot my earphones,” to both their surprise, she responds. Something about his lopsided grin drew the words out of her mouth.

“Oh, I would offer you to borrow mine, but I don’t have one of those,” he replies after he overcomes the shock. Having an idea to keep himself on her good side, he continues. “You could just put the music on, you know. I am sure that it is better than the country station that Joe puts on sometimes.”

Lulu bore her big, questioning eyes at him in a way that makes him believe that she is able to read his mind and discover all his secrets. Honestly, he only wants to make her feel comfortable enough with him in order to chat with him as he saw her doing with Joe the day prior. She must have found what she was looking for on his diamond eyes, because she presses play on the playlist on her cellphone. 

A woman in a foreign language starts singing from the speaker. He tries to pay attention in order to understand the brunette better but fails at it. “What is this?”

“Bossa nova,” she explains briefly.

“Hmm, never heard of it. I like the sound of it, though,” to which she rolls her gorgeous eyes at him once more. If he starts counting her eyes-rolls as little victories, especially when they are accompanied by her almost smiles that she tries to hide, it is nobody else’s business. 

Therefore, when she actually addresses him spontaneously with more than four works the following day, he is over the moon. It begins with him asking her if she understands what the singers are saying. She simply nods, but he continues trying. “How?” She just shrugs, and they resume working in mutual silence.

However, as they are closing down the shop at the end of the shift, Lulu catches him humming to one of the songs she played the day prior. Her heart melts a little and the words escape her mouth before her brain can stop her.

“My mother.” He is confused at first and then his expression softens as he realizes that she is actually answering his question. “She was Brazilian. She used to teach me Portuguese when I was little. I am not really good at speaking, but I can understand the majority of what they sing. She actually used to sing some of these songs to me.”

He fixes his eyes at her bewildered, trying to comprehend why she opened up to him. However, she shrinks at his penetrating stares, takes her bike, and leaves him alone on the sidewalk. The sudden movement brings him back. JJ keeps his eyes on her as she disappears on the street, beaming at the mystery girl whose mind he wants to figure out and considering the whole exchange a big win. 

_"and when she passes, i smile, but she doesn't see"_ (girl from ipanema – tom jobim)


	3. cause when you find love there’s not much you can do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i'm trying to write everyday, because this is my last week of school break. hope you are liking it!
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- the title from the chapter is from "when i look into your eyes" by khai dreams and lanie. this songs fits jj and lulu so perfectly. i strongly recommend you guys checking it out.  
> \- i am working on a playlist for this story and i will probably share with you guys soon.  
> \- you can also read this story at my tumblr 'innermidnight'.

_"i kinda like you, kinda think that you’re too much. you’re always knocking me off of my feet. i’m not against something like falling in love, but i'm not so sure if that's what i need."_ (when i look into your eyes – khai dreams ft. lanie)

Throughout the next two weeks, they bond through music and shared work. JJ is the who initiates the interactions ninety percent of the time. He asks about a million questions about the music she puts on for them, she answers at most six a day. After some insistence, he is even able to convince her to tell him how she learnt to fix cars — her godfather taught her a lot when she was younger, and she had worked as a mechanic before. In response, he shares how he learnt by watching his father as a kid. 

Unconsciously, by the end of their second week working together, Lulu starts to explain what the songs playing are about unprompted. She tried as hard as she could to keep her aloof and cryptic behavior, even if, at the back of her mind, she knew that she would never fulfill the promise she made in that way. Keeping herself closed off was convenient. It didn’t hurt and she was accustomed to the loneliness that came with it. However, the shaggy-haired blonde boy had other plans for her.

He was growing on her effortlessly and it scared her. She always had a hard time making friends back in Ohio. Talking was hard, especially during her first years there, but, even after the dark years, it still took a lot of willpower. As people already considered her a freak and distanced themselves from her, she just didn’t try to befriend anyone.

But, with JJ, it is easy and, as much as it frightens her, she likes easy. So, she let him come in faster than she was habituated. Even her godfather notices the sudden difference in their dynamic. One night during dinner, he breaks the comfortable silence they shared and questions her without further ado. “Kid, do you like JJ?”

She can’t help herself but blush. “No, I don’t. Can you pass me the salt?” she deflects.

“Oh, girl, you don’t need to change the subject. We don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to,” he soothes her, and she responds with a little smile.

“I really don’t,” she says after some minutes. If it is to convince herself more than her guardian, no one needs to know. She has been questioning what she was feeling towards the boy for some days now.

“Well, be careful,” she gives him a puzzled look and he continues. “I like the boy, I really do. Don’t get me wrong. But I heard stories and I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart.”

“We are barely friends, Uncle Joe. There is nothing to worry.”

They resume their dinner without much talk after it. When she goes to bed that night, she keeps replaying her moments with the boy, trying to understand his intentions. She is not naïve enough to think that his reasons are completely pure. She remembers the way he and his friends stared at her curvy silhouette at the beach when she went surfing. Still, Lulu believes that there is more to it than him trying to find a simple hookup. Besides the fact that he could find it anywhere else with less effort — she definitely isn’t the easiest person to approach and a shop where they work with her godfather isn’t the most ideal place —, he has something in his ocean blue eyes when he watches her. Something that makes her heart jump and her walls collapse.

The next morning, when she arrives at work, he is already there. No music is on as if he is waiting for her. He turns to her when he hears her steps with a grin, which she had noticed that is completely different from his usual smirk. This one is more honest and carefree. She likes to entertain the idea that she is the only one who can make him smile like this.

“What you have for us today, Miss Lulu?” He imitates a child’s voice. In the last few days, he had been teasing her about her ‘music lessons’.

“You can tease me all you want, but what I am doing is showing you a superior form of art,” she jokes back. 

“Of course, you are,” JJ chuckles, his appearing dimple giving her butterflies in the stomach. She tries to shake away the feeling by focusing on taking her phone off her backpack and putting her Bossa Nova playlist on. ‘Chega de Saudade’ by Tom Jobim starts playing and a goofy smile appears on the boy’s face. This is one of his favorites that she has shown him. “Dance with me?” 

She pretends to think about the proposition a little and then takes his hands, opening a matching grin. He twirls her into his arms, hugging her body. The two teenagers share a peaceful moment in which none of them moves, simply enjoying the closeness of their embrace. Soon, they fall in step and playfully dance with each other. When the music comes to its end, they laugh together.

Later at night, Lulu contemplates the nature of their relationship. He is the closest someone her age has ever been to her heart. However, she doesn’t believe that she is apt to something more than a friendship. She has too much baggage to unload on someone else. Especially, someone like him, so upbeat, so lighthearted.

Her phone rings and she rapidly picks it up. “Hi, Lulu.” The voice coming from the speaker is calming, which is exactly what she needs. It is Rita. When it was decided that she should come back to Outer Banks, her major worry was being away from her aunt. The woman had been her rock for so long and she misses her dearly. They had agreed to make weekly phone calls for checkup, which ended up being an excellent decision.

“Hey, Auntie Rita.”

“How have you been this week?”

“Honestly? Confused,” she laughs forcedly.

“And the reason is…,” the woman gives her the opportunity to explain what has been on her mind lately and she does. She had talked already about JJ when they were initiating their now established friendship. But the sentiment had modified a lot since. The lingering eyes, the mirrored smiles, the soft touches, the easygoing conversation. The whole situation is messing with her head. When she finishes recounting the events of the week, including the talk shared with Uncle Joe and the dance, Rita simply asks: “But what is bothering you?”

“He is clearly interested in something more.”

“And you are not.”

“I am,” she corrects.

“So, what is really bothering you?”

“I shouldn’t. I can’t jump in a relationship,” she clarifies.

“Why not?”

“Why not? Well, for starters, he doesn’t even know the whole story. Actually, he has zero knowledge of any part of my past. He doesn’t know that I am who I am. And I have way too much emotional baggage. If he knew that I am this broken, he wouldn’t have interest in me.”

The woman on the other side of the call stays silent for a moment. “Okay, dear, first thing that you need to remember: your past doesn’t define who you are, if you can or cannot be in a relationship or how much you are worth. This boy seems to like you a lot. It had nothing to do with your past, but with who you are. Also, you don’t own anyone your whole life story. Even if you two end up dating, you should tell him when and if you are ready.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so,” her aunt reassures her. “Lulu, you are not broken. You never have been. Yes, you have traumas and scars and pain because something horrible happened. But you are not broken.”

“What if he thinks I am when he finds out?” the girl asks quietly. The last thing she wants is to push the boy away. He had become so important to her so fast.

“Then, he doesn’t deserve you. I know that it seems complicated, but you have to try and live day by day, okay? Your future holds beautiful things. You have to let it come.”

“Thanks, Auntie Rita.”

“I am always here for it. Good night, Lulu.  _ Eu te amo _ .”

“ _ Eu te amo também _ ,” she responds in Portuguese and hangs up the phone.

That night, when she falls asleep, she dreams of diamond eyes and crooked smiles. Her aunt appeased some of her worries and she feels ready to face whatever the future might bring. She feels lighter again as she does in the ocean or as she did in JJ’s arms that morning. 

_“i think you’re gonna change my plans with those emerald eyes and you don’t even understand just how far i dive”_ (claudia – finneas)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> additional notes:  
> \- "chega de saudade" means something along the times of "enough of missing you"  
> \- "eu te amo"/"eu te amo também" = i love you/i love you too


	4. cause you're my jewel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i loved writing this chapter so much. hope you guys are like it as much as i did :)
> 
> additional note:  
> \- the chapter title is from "jewel" by adam melchor. this song reminds me of the story so much.
> 
> tw: mentions of canon physical abuse + short description of past parents’ death

_“spendin' all my nights alone, waitin' for you to call me. you're the only one i want by my side when i fall asleep.”_ (SUGAR – brockhampton)

JJ hadn’t prepared himself for coming to his house Friday night. He was set on going to John B’s to drink beer and chat on the hammocks as arranged earlier on the week. But the thing about his life is that it never works out as he thinks that it will. He didn’t expect as a child to be abandoned by his mother and to be left to his own devices. He didn’t expect to come by such a supportive group of friends, a family in almost every aspect of the word. He didn’t expect to be beat up by his own father because he forgot to clean the dishes at nine years old. He didn’t expect to meet her. Sometimes, the surprises weren’t completely awful.

This one was, though.

In the middle of his way to the Château, he remembered that he needed to pick up his phone charger back at his house before John B stopped lending him his as he had warned. It was supposed to be just a quick detour. He would get it and leave. Simple and straightforward. He could do it. The pain in his back the next morning is enough proof that he actually couldn’t do it.

Luke wasn’t the happiest to see him. Intoxicated and angry was never a good combination when it came to the man. He was pissed about the mess on the house or being recently fired or the resemblance between JJ and his runaway mother. The boy had stopped trying to understand what set his dad off a long time ago. The result was always the same, regardless.

Being shoved into the kitchen counter and then having to clean up the mess his father made wasn’t on the plans for the night, but he accepted and sent a short text to his friends stating that he would see them in the morning. It wasn’t worth it trying to go. His mood and his night were already sour.

However, laying on his bed with his door locked and his demons away, he was able to allow his mind to travel to the girl who had been occupying his thoughts. His motto may be ‘deny, deny, deny’, but, in the dark with no one around, it gets harder to pretend that he doesn’t have feelings for Lulu. The lightheartedness he feels when he is listening to her favorite songs with her. The way her eyes shine brighter than the midday sun when he is by her side. The incessant bliss that takes over his body every time she talks to him, smiles at him, touches him. Hell, every time she even looks at him. He simply can’t deny that he is falling hard for her. His last thoughts before drifting into sleep are about how much he wishes that she could be there with him. 

The morning after, he commits to himself to spend the day with the Pogues. He leaves the house before Luke wakes up with his charger and some extra sets of clothes, deciding to stay out of his sight for a couple of days. When he arrives at the Château, he finds his best friend, who looks up to him as he is approaching, feeding the rooster.

“Hey, man. We missed you last night. Something happened?”

“The usual,” he shrugs. As much as he loves and trusts the other boy, venting about his dad’s behavior is definitely not on the menu for the day. He just wants to chill with his friends. “So, what is the plan?”

“I was thinking fishing,” 

“Sounds good.”

After sending a text to Kie and Pope saying that they will pick them up on the way, the teenagers hop on the HMS Pogue. The first stop is Heyward's Seafood. Collecting Pope is always a hard task because of his father’s distaste towards John B and JJ. He has a soft spot for Kiara and, therefore, she is normally the one to take the boy away from the shop. But, in her absence, JJ takes the place. He may be the one the old Heyward dislikes the most, but he is the best at confusing the man and giving Pope the opportunity to run.

When they come to their destination, the blonde boy hitches the line to the cleat at the end of the dock and directs himself to the shop entrance. As he is about to open the door, he runs into someone he is not expecting to see: the girl of his — literal — dreams.

She stares at him with a sweet smile and he feels like he can’t breathe properly. After a brief moment of comfortable silence, they simultaneously ask what the other is doing there. She simply laughs and answers. He can’t stop himself from thinking that she is beautiful in this morning light and this good mood. “Picking up some groceries for Uncle Joe. You?”

“Picking up Pope,” he responds, still a little taken aback, gesturing to the door.

“Well, don’t mind me. I will see you Monday,” she says goodbye and disappears faster than he can form another phrase. Fuck, he needs to stop acting like this in front of her. He shakes his head, trying to get a grip at his feelings, and enters the establishment.

Pope appears in front of him before he can even attempt to look for him with what seems to be his trademarked ‘I discovered something’ face. “You won’t believe who was here.” 

“Who?” He asks while he takes advantage of the fact that they are near the door to get away without alerting Pope’s dad.

“Three words: The Jones’s Orphan.” JJ tries to remember who his friend is referring to without success and, due to the lack of response, the other boy continues with shock on his voice. “You don’t remember? It is like the biggest thing that ever happened on this island since, I don’t know, Mrs. Crain killing her husband.”

“Just spill it, Pope,” he voices a little curious.

“Seven years ago, Paul Jones killed his wife in front of his daughter and then killed himself. Ringing any bells? Man, how could you forget? Everyone talked about it for months. The girl even skipped town. But now she is back, and I saw her. She literally just left. You must have…”

The teenager continued to talk, but JJ’s mind was going a mile per minute. Flashes of memories are coming back to him fast. It couldn’t be. No, no. The girl is definitely not her. It is a coincidence. It must be someone else. But an encounter many years ago that I hadn't thought about for years now comes back to him. Those forest green eyes. Oh, no, it couldn’t be. 

“Pope, what is her name again?”

“The wife? I think it was Cecilia, but I am not—"

“No. The girl. The Jones’s Orphan or whatever. What was her name?” He exasperates.

“Lulu Jones. But really, man, how can you have forgotten all of this? She was in your class or something.” JJ feels out of air. It is her. She is the girl from the pier. The girl who lost her family. The girl with big teary forest green eyes. Oh, God. He needs to talk to her. And it needs to be now. 

They are in front of the boat now, but he looks at both of his friends and knows that he can’t go. Not after receiving this big bomb. His plans are once again changed. “Hmm, guys, I need to go,” he tells, already picking up his backpack from the floor of the HMS Pogue.

“What? Are you going to bail again?” John B retorts with frustration, but he doesn’t have time for this now. He will deal with his best friend later. Now, he needs to find her like she had found him many years ago.

“Sorry,” he apologizes and runs to the opposite direction before he can hear another word. He doesn’t stop until he is in front of Campbell's house. It must have taken approximately twenty minutes for him to get there, but he doesn’t even notice or mind. His only thought is of her.

He rings the bell at least six times before she opens the door with a confused expression. “JJ, what are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be with the Pogues?

“It’s you,” he says out of breath and she giggles. She is beautiful and he doesn’t want to break the magic.

“Of course, it’s me. I live here,” her smile is inebriating, and he can’t believe that he hadn’t connected the dots before. “Did you run here? Come in. I will give you a glass of water.”

He follows her inside to the kitchen and watches her pour the water for him. She is about to offer it when he speaks again. “It’s you.”

“Yes, JJ. Are you okay? You are worrying me,” she frowns at him. The girl in front of him is adorable and he almost gives up from entering the subject with fear of what will cause her.

“No. I mean, yes.” The way her puzzled face morphs into sadness and brokenness after he continues, making him regret immediately his words, is something he will unfortunately remember twenty years later. “It is you. Lulu Jones, it’s you.”

_“so, call the search off, i didn’t think i’d find you”_ (jewel – adam melchor)


	5. and if childhood defines you, can it ever be behind you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! this chapter is probably one of the heaviest of this story. i tried to keep the description to its minimal, but the subject still is a difficult one. so, please be careful and prioritize your mental health as always.
> 
> tw: description of parents' death involving homocide, suicide, gun violence and blood
> 
> additional note:  
> \- the title of the chapter is from 'the valley' by ethan gruska

_“there is a wall in my life built by you, you opened a door that a kid shouldn’t walk through”_ (guiltless – dodie)

The cup falls to ground as her eyes start watering and she blames the tears on the spilled water and broken glass. She rapidly knells down to clean up the mess with her bare hands in an attempt to silence an intruding voice of the past muttering “What did I do?” repeatedly. Before she can hurt herself with the sharp objects on the floor, an unknown hand stops her. Lulu takes more than she should to remember herself of the blonde boy’s presence.

He studies her with regret and concern on his face. But rather than calming her, it triggers the memory she is fighting to suffocate. The person in front of her is no longer JJ, the sixteen years old boy who makes her heart jump and her walls crumple. Suddenly, instead of being in Uncle Joe’s house, where she is safe and sound, she travels back to the place where it all happened, where she lost everything in one night. When she looks up from the chaos on the kitchen floor, she sees him. The man she once knew as dad, her beloved father who was the best man on Earth in her childish mind. The man she now referred to as Paul Jones, the one who murdered her mom.

She nervously gets up and takes several steps back, distancing herself from the tall, lean man. She watches his blood-soaked hands, a recently used gun on his right one and his insane expression. She lowers her eyes and where the broken glass and spilled water was she sees her mother bleeding on the living room’s navy-blue carpet of her childhood house. Falling to her knees, she tries to stop the blood from escaping her mother’s body as she had many years ago without success. She feels the woman who taught how to love and to be loved perishing on her arms.

She glances at her father, murmuring to himself. “What did I do? What did I do?” She tries to stop herself from saying because she knows the result of it. However, she listens to her voice screaming, even though she is aware that she didn’t open her mind. “What did you do? You killed her. You killed my mom!”

When she sees that look of regret and concern on the man’s face which she is too familiar with from her innumerous nightmares and troubling memories, she closes her eyes and puts her hands on her ears, bracing herself for what is about to happen. But the sound of gunshot never comes. 

A soothing hand, so much different from the ones who caused all of this, touches her shoulders lightly. A worried but loving voice calling her comes through. When she opens her tired eyes, they meet ocean blue’s ones. She is back to the present time, breathing and free from harm.

“Lulu,” JJ breathes, taking her hands away from her ears and interlocking them with his own. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just appeared out of nowhere and approached this subject.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t,” she answers earnestly after a beat. Noticing his growing remorse, she tries to smile, but ends up grimacing.

“I am really sorry. I didn’t think.”

“It is okay.”

“It is not, though. I know that it sucks to be forced to talk about something you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have done this to you.” He moves his thumb in a circular motion, trying to comfort her. “I know sorry doesn’t fix it, but I am. Sorry, I mean.”

“I know,” she moves her eyes to the awaiting mess on the kitchen, thinking she will need to get to it soon. As if reading her mind, he gets up and offers his hands for help. “I’ll clean up this mess and leave you alone, okay?”

“Don’t,” she mumbles, staring at her unlaced shoes.

“What? No, don’t think of contradicting me. It is my fault and I will clean it.”

She inhales and exhales and then looks at him again with pleading eyes. “You can clean if you want. But don’t go. Stay, please. I don’t want to be alone.” JJ weighs down his answer for a couple of moments, making sure that he is welcomed, and simply nods. “I will wait for you in my bedroom.”

Ten minutes later, she is sitting on her bed, playing with the golden necklace that used to be her mother’s and Auntie Rita gave to her on her first birthday away from Outer Banks. This little piece of her mother had helped her many times, grounding her. In that moment, her head is at ease but far away, and she almost doesn’t notice the boy entering. He smiles shyly and she responds to it by smiling back at him and gesturing for him to sit next to her, which seems to surprise him.

But what genuinely dumbfounds him is her soft speaking words. “I want to tell you. What happened, you know? I want to tell you.”

“Lulu, you don’t have to. I am sorry if I pressured you before, but you don’t have to.”

“JJ, you are not pressuring me. I want to. I really do,” she declares confidently, even though the prospect of telling it scares her.

“Are you sure?” 

“No. But I want to, anyway.” He seems hesitant, but motions to her speak. “What do you know?”

He recounts what he had learnt from Pope that day and what he heard around town when it happened, choosing the best words he can to not upset her even more. Her father shot her mother and then killed himself in front of his nine years old daughter. In front of her. When he finishes, he sees a pained expression on her face, but, before he can start apologizing, she speaks.

“He was drunk,” she states and stays silent for a minute or two. When she opens her mouth to continue, he can see a single tear escaping her left eye. He moves to clean it before he can think it through, and her glistening eyes seem grateful for his caring attitude. “He used to drink. Not a lot. Just a normal amount in barbecues and parties. I have never seen him drunk. I don’t know why he had so much to drink that night. But he did and he got mad at my mom.

“I was in my room when he arrived. I think I was reading or something dumb like that. I remember hearing them fighting—They didn’t fight normally, you know? They used to argue sometimes, but they rarely screamed at each other. I can see now that my mom was afraid of him, but I never saw it when I was a kid. She… She used to have many secrets with me. Things that made him upset, but she still wanted to do. Like teaching me Portuguese, buying me ice cream before lunch, teaching music to some children around the island. He didn’t like those things and she hid it from him, so he didn’t get mad. 

“That night, I got really scared because of the fighting. They rarely screamed and they were screaming so much. So, I decided to go downstairs. I was almost arriving in the living room when I heard— When I heard the—,” she stops abruptly, and he takes her hands again. “The gunshot. I ran towards them and I saw her there. Pale. Bloodied. In her last breaths,” she hiccups with tears all across her face.

“Lulu, you don’t need to continue.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her head, denying. “I need this. I really do,” he cleans her cheeks with one of his hands and squeezes hers with his other one. “Her heart stopped right after. Then, I looked at him. At my father. He was freaked out and mumbling and walking from one side to the other. I don’t think that he had noticed me there until I spoke. I asked what he had done. I accused him of killing her, which he did. And then he— He—You know. I was there and I stayed there the whole night. I just couldn’t move or speak or do something. I just stayed there. Our house was a little far away from the others. So, no one heard the gunshots. Uncle Joe found me there the next morning. My mom was supposed to meet him, and she didn’t come.”

Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy when she stops talking. His heart breaks some more with the sight of her. Small, defenseless, crying in front of him. Sensing that she had finished retelling the traumatic event, he asks permission with his eyes to hug her and she nods. Their embrace lasts a couple of minutes, but it seems like hours. With her head placed at the crook of his neck, she truly relaxes for the first time that day. He smells of weed, ocean salty water and sunscreen. Being hugged by him feels like coming home after a long time away and she wants it to last forever. In that moment, JJ realizes that he would be willing to do anything to keep her safe and close to him like this.

_“just know you're not alone 'cause i'm going to make this place your home”_ (home – phillip phillips)


	6. hell was the journey, but it brought me heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! i'm already back, because tomorrow my classes return and i don't know exactly how often i will be able to update from now on. i am not giving up on this story, though. i am loving it so much. hope you liked it :)
> 
> tw: canon physical abuse (jj and luke maybank)
> 
> additional notes:  
> \- the title of the chapter is from 'invisible string' by taylor swift.  
> \- 'luiza' by tom jobim is one of my favorites songs and i super recommend listening to it, even though you don't speak portuguese. the lyrics are a little difficult, but it is beautiful.

_“you’re the sunshine in my life”_ (best part – daniel caesar and h.e.r.)

Having her in his arms could easily become his favorite thing in the world. Her big eyes are closed, and her breathing is normalized. Her hair that earlier was neatly braided is now messy but still beautiful. She looks like an angel right there and he doesn’t want to repeat his past mistake and disturb the peaceful moment. But he knows that he has to talk about this with her as he had unconsciously dreamed about doing for years.

“Can I ask you a question?” She sits straighter, opening her eyes and staring at him. He notices her searching his face for hints about what he is about to say and, even though she is tired of the conversation, she nods. Seeing her like this, willing to open up despite her weariness, it stops him from addressing the subject. She deserves a break from heavy conversations, and he ends up making a joke. “What kind of name is Lulu?” 

She laughs for the first time that day. He praises himself for being the responsible for the lightheartedness in her eyes and for making the right choice. “Who are you to talk, JJ?” She replies, giggling and emphasizing his nickname. 

“Well, mine is a nickname.” 

“Mine is one as well! Did you really think my actual name was Lulu?” 

He feigned being insulted. “Hey! Your uncle said as if it was your name, alright? And you never introduced yourself to me! You can’t blame this on me.”

She grins amused at him. “Luiza.”

“What?” 

“My name is Luiza.”

“Oh,” he takes a moment to feel it. Its power and its sonority. “I like it”

“It’s a song. My mom loved it,” she explains with a smile that now seems like a constant.

“Put it on.” The girl picks up her phone from the bedside table. As the first piano note travels from the speaker, he takes his own phone from his pocket, which confuses her. “What are you doing?”

“Using Google Translate to understand the lyrics,” he answers plainly with his eyes still fixed on the screen. These little, charming, and simple things he does never fail to warm her heart. 

“What do you think of it?” She questions him when he puts the cellphone down.

“Honestly? I can’t understand shit. But I think that it fits you.”

She chuckles at his authentic response. “What?”

“Yeah, your mom named you right.”

“Why?” She burst out fully laughing.

“I don’t understand you too. You are practically a mystery.” In his mind, he adds ‘and yet I like you so much just like the singer likes this Luiza girl’. It is not the time and place to be cheesy. He can’t break the comfortable dynamic they created because of his silly feelings.

“A mystery? Look who's talking!”

“Me? I am an open book,” he defends himself, even though it is not the whole truth. The whole truth is ugly and difficult, and she deserves nice and easy things every day, but especially today. 

“No, you are not,” she argues.

“Yeah, I am. John B always says that I am ‘as local as they come’, you know? I am the latest in a long line of fishing, drinking, smuggling, vendetta-holding salt-lifers who made their living off the water.”

Her forest green eyes are analyzing him affectionately and he entertains the idea that she likes him as well. It could be true, but he can’t take the first step. “I think that there’s more to it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do,” she bites her rosy lips and he feels the control slipping away from him. Before he has to distance himself in order to keep his word about not acting on his feelings, she closes her eyes and the space between them. He throws caution out of the window and meets her mouth halfway.

Lulu tastes like the tears she spilled earlier and the chamomile tea he knows that she loves. He embraces her completely and he determines that having her on his arms has already transformed into his favorite thing in the world. Because she is loving and easy and loving is easy with her. Because, in the time of one month, her company at work became the best part of his day. Because he could tell all her secrets to her without her even asking.

When they part away, she has the sweetest smile on her lips, and he wants to continue kissing her. He can’t, though. Not before being as honest with her as she was with him today. He inhales deeply because showing this part of his soul with her, even if it is her, is hard. But she had shared so much with him in the past hour. She deserves to know how much she meant to him for so long, even without neither of them knowing it.

“I have one last question.” The return of her worried eyes almost makes him regret bursting the bubble they were in. But he needs to continue now or else he might never do this. He can understand her necessity to keep talking now. “Do you remember me?”

Her puzzled look is enough to answer, but she replies anyway. “What do you mean?”

“Before you went away, I saw you. Do you remember me?” She shakes her head negatively, which disappointed him a little. That morning was forever engraved on his mind and it had meant so much for him throughout the years.

“What happened?” She asks curiously, because, even after scanning her mind, she hadn’t found any recollections of the boy. This wasn’t a surprise unfortunately. Her memories from the days and weeks and months after the death of her parents were mainly fuzzy and clouded. Betty told her that it was the way her brain had chosen to cope with the trauma.

“Some weeks after your parents—You know… Well, you found me at the pier near my house. I was sitting there for hours. You appeared out of nowhere. I didn’t realize who you were until later on. You didn’t say anything. You just stayed there by my side. My father—,” he breathes, seeking courage to continue, and he finds it in her soft hands on his own. “Luke Maybank, he is not a great guy. He is bad. That morning seven years ago had been the first time since my mother ran away that he had hit me. I hadn’t cleaned up the dishes after dinner and he got angry. He punched me.

“After he went to his room for the night, I fled home. I planned on going to go to John B’s, but I was tired and ended up staying at the pier. I sat there all night. You found me when the sun was rising.” Her eyes softened at his words and she squeezed his hand the same he had done to her earlier. “I don’t know why, but you took my hands in yours, just like you are doing right now. We had been in the same class together before, but you didn’t know me. And yet you were so gentle with me. Even after everything that happened to you. It meant a lot. It still means.

“Eventually, some woman arrived and called you to the car. I think that it was the day you left Outer Banks. I know that it is weird and that you don’t remember. But, that moment, Lulu, it gave me so much hope when I needed the most. You found me and I wanted to thank you now that I know that it was you,” he finishes by smiling smally at her.

“Thank you so much for telling me, J. I am grateful that I found you as well,” she confides, hugging him tightly. Even though she wants to discuss his relationship with his father, she senses that it was not the ideal moment. She knows that the only thing he needs now is comfort.

After all, the connection between them went long back. The comfortable silence, the easy conversation, the mutual understanding. Lulu and JJ, two ends of one string. The closeness of the hug allows them to stare at each other: longingly, lovingly. Soon, their lips touch again, starting with quick pecks until it becomes a passionate kiss. All the words of affection they hadn’t shared are transmitted on that kiss. 

The romantic moment was broken by her bedroom’s door being opened and her uncle appearing. “Lulu, what do you want for dinner?” They separate themselves rapidly and look to the man who has an amused grin on his face. 

JJ is the one to reestablish his ground first, disentangling himself from the girl and getting up from the bed. “Hi, boss. Bye, boss” he saluted the man, winks at her and then flees before she can even form a phrase.

"Barely friends, huh? I see," Uncle Joe laughs and she doesn’t even attempt at justifying herself. He closes the door and leaves Lulu to her own thoughts. For once in her life, the fact that her mind is going a mile per minute is positive. Smitten and happy, she is certain that the decision to come back was after all a good one.

_“and isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?”_ (invisible string – taylor swift)


	7. time alone with ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! college is taking up most of my time this week. this chapter doesn't have much going on, but i like it nonetheless. soon, we will embark on a more canon part of the story. hope you like it :)
> 
> additional note: the title of the chapter is from 'time alone with ya' by jacob collier ft. daniel caesar

_“lay all day in bed with me and teach me how to love ya”_ (time alone with you – jacob collier ft. daniel caesar)

Lulu is scrolling through her Instagram feed on her bed Sunday morning, enjoying the sun's rays entering her bedroom and warming her body, when she hears a tapping. She gets up and walks to it. After opening the curtain completely and lifting the windows, she finds a pile of blonde hair and a pair of ocean blue eyes grinning at her. She tries to hide the growing happiness in her heart as she speaks. “JJ, what are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? Seeing you,” he shrugs. “Now, can I come in?”

“Yes, but you do know that we have a door, right?” She jokes as he is jumping through the window into her bedroom and almost falling. She notices the same backpack he had with him the day prior on his back. Before sleeping, she revisited all the instances that should have given her a red flag about the state of his home life, but she hadn’t paid too much attention until now. Him practically living at his best friend’s house was one of those. 

“Of course, I do. But this way is more romantic.”

“Oh, you are romantic now,” she teases, even though she is aware that she can’t stop smiling at his antics. His silly behavior had been the biggest cause of the lightheartedness that came with seeing him every workday of the last month, despite her attempts at closing herself off and not letting him in.

“Always have been, babe,” JJ winks with a juvenile smirk as he comes closer to her, taking her into his strong arms.

“I am ‘babe’ now?” 

“Could have been earlier if you wanted to.” Instead of answering, she simply laughs, savoring the closeness of the hug. The comfort that it brings to both of them is unmatched. Lulu loves her aunt and uncle more than anything else in the world and she is forever grateful for having them in her life. JJ recognizes that, without the Pogues by his side, his life would be so much harder and sadder. But they know wholeheartedly that, even as cliché as it sounds, they had found a safe haven on each other’s embrace.

The teasing atmosphere is gone by the time Lulu stares into his kind, loving eyes. Bearing her soul to him and listening to his deep secret the day before solidified the feeling she had been harboring for the boy. The words they hadn’t spoken yet are evident in their gazes and smiles. He leans forward, placing his callous hands on her rosy cheeks and connecting their lips.

As the kiss deepens, she moves her hands to his shaggy hair, feeling its softness through her fingers. His heart skips a beat at the caring touch. A lifetime with a negligent, runaway mother and a violent father made him unaccustomed to this kind of affection, even though the Pogues weren’t shy at showing their love for one another.

After some time, they end up, laying on her bed. Lulu has her head rested on his chest and he is playing with her fingers, relishing on the comfortable silence and on each other’s company. She props up and turns to look at him, still leaning on him. “Tell me something no one knows about you.”

“I am the best surfer in Outer Banks,” he deadpans.

“Be serious,” she pouts at him.

“I am! People should acknowledge this, but they don’t. It’s a shame,” she stares at him skeptically. “Okay, okay... Let me think.”

“I am waiting.”

He sticks his tongue out at her, making her laugh. “My real name is John Jackson.”

“John Jackson?”

“Yeah. For some odd reason, people in this island love to name their children John. But, since I became friends with John B in third grade, I go by JJ. I don’t even think Pope and Kie know my actual name.”

“I like it. Your name,” the answer brings out a smile on his face.

“It was my grandfathers’ names. My parents wanted to honor them or some shit. I think that the last person that called me John was my mother, but, after she went away, it is weird,” he grimaces, as it clearly is a sensitive topic for him.

“It makes sense. My mom used to call me  _ Luluzinha _ , which is an affectionate Brazilian way of saying Little Lulu. My aunt tried to keep calling me that, but I hated it. It sounded so wrong in another person’s mouth after everything.”

“You miss your mom a lot?”

“Every single day,” she replies, touching the star pendant on her necklace that it used to belong to the woman. “Do you? Miss your mother, I mean?”

“Not really,” he tries to sound nonchalant, but she notices the conflicted emotions in his eyes. “Tell me something no one know about.”

He changes the subject and she accepts it without questioning. Talking about family is not easy for everyone and she understands it. “I like taking pictures.”

“Of yourself?” He asks with a malicious smirk, moving with a loose strand of her brown hair from her face.

“No! Pictures of places, of things, of fully clothed people.”

“Bummer,” he jokes. “Are you any good?”

“I think so. The school paper back in Ohio used my photos quite a lot.”

“Can I see it?”

“Of course,” she voices cheerfully. His interest in her and all the things surrounding her never failed to make her happy. She gets up from the bed and walks to her closet, pulling a big box. It is filled with the pictures she took and revealed through the six years she was doing this. She picks some of her favorites, the majority from the two year. “It is not much. There weren’t many exciting things back there but photographing the football games was nice. I liked the movement and the emotion of it.”

He goes through the ones she puts on his hand, analyzing it carefully. “I don’t understand a lot about art and stuff, but these are good.”

“Thanks.”

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Since I was ten. When I moved to Ohio to live with Auntie Rita, I was appointed a therapist. I didn’t speak for a long time after that night. It was hard and Betty, the therapist, said that I should try to find a way to express myself. After some time, I began talking again. Sounds dumb, but it made sense.”

“It is not dumb. It helped you, right?” She nods and he pulls her into his arms again. “Whatever helps you with all this pain is not dumb. Nothing regarding you is dumb.”

“Thank you, J,” she kisses him lightly. “I know this deep down, but it is hard to remember.” 

They get back to lying position, cuddling. They are in complete silence for some minutes when he breaks it. “I want you to meet my friends.”

It draws a genuine smile from her. “Tell me more about them.”

“I think that you will get along with Kiara fine. She is this environmentalist, hippie chic. Her family owns the Wreck. She is actually a Kook. You know what a Kook is, right?”

“I grew up here, JJ, remember?” She quips, thinking about the Pogue v. Kook thing that everyone learned at a young age.

“Anyway, she is rich, but for some reason she likes us better than the trust fund kids from the Kook Academy. She is bossy and creative. Pope got the brain, but Kie is the one who actually makes sure that we don’t get arrested.”

“I already like her, then.”

“Of course, you do. Oh, man, you two being friends will be the death of me,” he grumbles, prompting a giggle from her. “Pope is the one who will get out of here. He has a scholarship lined up for him. He just needs to pass this one last interview, which he will definitely do, because he is the smartest person I know. And there is John B. The one who lets me crash at his place practically every other night. He is my best friend. His dad disappeared at the sea some months ago. He is in denial. Kie humors him with it, but we know that he is not coming back. No one get lost at sea these days and lives to tell the story,” he ends with a sad expression. Big John had been a father figure for him as well and his death shocked him as well.

“Is he living by himself?”

“Technically, no. His uncle is his legal guardian, but he hasn’t been home for months now. This would be a good thing during the summer, if DCS wasn’t all over John B because of it.”

“This sucks.”

“Yeah, it does. Family is a messy thing.”

He holds her tighter and brings her closer to his chest, seeking comfort with the action. Sensing that he is not in the mood to continue to talk about it, she just looks up to his face. His eyes are closed, preventing her from seeing the ocean of emotions present in it. He seems peaceful like this: lying down with her by his side. She analyzes his sun-tanned skin and his blonde hair, taking in his beautiful face.

“I like you,” he opens his eyes startled. “I know that it is pretty obvious now, but I wanted to say it either way. You are the first person my age who got close to me and I am happy that you did. I like you, J. A lot.” His surprised expression softens.

“I really like too, Lulu.” He beams at her and, then, brings her face closer, kissing her passionately. They spend the rest of the day together, enjoying the fact that her uncle was away for a fishing trip with some friends. They cherish the calmness, without knowing that the moments of peace were fleeting, and they would miss the easiness of this day later on. 

_“do you realize you have the most beautiful face?”_ (do you realize?? – the flaming lips)

**Author's Note:**

> find me at my tumblr 'lunaticlua', where this story is also posted.


End file.
